Wednesday, May 30, 2007

Poor thing, at her age she will become a SPINSTER!

Hmmm what should I make of this:-

"Up to 50 per cent of Emirati women face Maryam’s fate(a spinster), says Eman Abdullah, president of the International Women’s Cultural Forum in Dubai."

And the reasons for this:-
  • "Khalfan Al Mhriz, Family Counsellor at the Dubai Courts, said one solution is for women to be willing to be taken as a second wife."
  • "Raya Al Mhrzi, a sociologist in Abu Dhabi’s Awqaf and Islamic Affairs Department and a member of the Marriage Fund, blamed fairy-tale ideas about marriage.
    Women, she said, have become too demanding, and high dowries, lavish ceremonies, clothes and jewellery become prohibitive."

  • Get ready for the most ridiculous :-
    "Dr Mohammad Wafeek Eid, a psychiatrist at Al Musa Medical Centre in Dubai, said most spinsters suffer from anxiety, depression and multiple psychosomatic complaints, including headaches, epigastric disturbances, abdominal gases and discomfort. "They tend to be suspicious and they make those around them uncomfortable. They are somehow viewed as abnormal because they do not go through motherhood – spinsters are the object of social pity. They feel they are unfulfilled, incomplete," he said."

  • Almost as ridiculous as the previous one:-

    "Eman Abdullah, president of the International Women’s Cultural Forum in Dubai, said spinsterhood is a "dangerous" phenomenon.
    It waters down the Arabic language, destroys local customs and traditions and creates an unstable and unhealthy family life, she said."

OH MY GOD! Almost every single reason stated places the blame on the solely woman's shoulder. Call me a new-age-pussy-whipped-metrosexual-male version of a feminist if you want, but this is one of the most insulting articles about women I have ever read.

What about the men? To me its seems this is a classic example of a change in sociological role of the sexes, resulting from the modernisation and liberalisation of the society. Female Emarati roles have changed in society, however male Emaratis "prefer the traditional image of a housewife whose only role is to run the house, take care of her husband and children and nothing else". This is perfectly summed up by

"The marriage I want should be based on equality, understand-ing and love – something I haven’t found with the men I have met. Sumaia, 38, Emirati businesswoman"

Additionally I DETEST the word spinster. The horrible connotations attached to those words conjure up images of desperation, failure, an anomaly in society that people pity. Women do not HAVE to be married to have a successful life in a financially developed society.

And one more thing:-

"Legally, Emirati women are allowed to marry foreigners, but UAE traditions discourage them from marrying expats – only 500 Emirati women married expat men in the last seven years, according to a recent forum."

Yes that is correct. But that is ONLY 1 of the reason. If a female Emarati marries a non-Emarati:-
  • Her husband will never be granted the citizenship
  • Her children will not be granted the citizenship and will not be legally considered as Emarati
  • Her children and husband are not entitled to all the benefits of being a national.


rosh said...

I couldn't have said it better LE. I am in such disbelief reading this article. How can anyone be such cold ignorant bigots?

There are lots women (Expats & Emi's) who are single out there - some prefer to fly solo, 'cause of various valid reasons.

"one solution is for women to be willing to be taken as a second wife" - WILLINGLY being the operative word - which practically reads be "submissive" in life.

"spinsters suffer from anxiety, depression and multiple psychosomatic complaints" "They tend to be suspicious and they make those around them uncomfortable. "

And to think the former is a "Family Counsellor" - the latter a "psychiatrist" gods help us all!

secretdubai said...

These laws really need to change. Particularly as the UAE local population is so small, it seems crazy to deny citizenship to the children of UAE women.

So what if their father is Syrian/Yemeni/European? The local population here is itself very mixed, with lots of different Gulf tribes, Iranians, South Asians, Africans all mixing their blood and genes together through history.

usarabgal said...

I can not believe what I read. This is flate out crazy. I blame tradition and how people see these women. I can still be educated, and a working woman and STILL get a man and think about becomeing a mother later on in life. That is FINE, women have done it for ages. Arab men need to CHANGE big time.

i*maginate said...

There's a difference between saying the comments of those quoted are ridiculous, and saying the issues are ridiculous. What's untrue about most of the quotes? I understand it's a proven fact in the health field that unmarried, single people, be they bachelors or spinsters (the terms used for unmarried men/women) do suffer from the symptoms mentioned - nothing ridiculous in this fact. As for the "willing to be taken as a 2nd wife", what is wrong with this? As SD rightly says, the local population is low. And since men do take more than one wife, as per the law of probability doesn't this mean that some women might end up as a second wife? Or should they marry a foreigner? Remember, these are locals talking about their own country, and if the law says women can't marry foreigners with the same rights as marrying a local, then so be it.

The lady from the Marriage Fund speaks from a position of authority. HH Shaikh Zayed established The Marriage Fund (Zawaj) for four reasons, one of which was to lessen the amount of dowry expected in local marriages. This was primarily to encourage local marriage and discourage inter-racial marriages. Ms. Al Mhrzi is correct in what she says.

I do agree 'spinsterhood' is a 'dangerous' phenomenon. Women were made to reproduce! If they don't...well...that's their choice. You detest the word 'spinster' because of its connotations, so...where does that put 'bachelors'?

If anything's a concern in this article, it's the fact that the number of local marriages is going down. That's the real issue at hand: a socio-economic one.

This article is not insulting to women. It's the truth: your favourite subject.

nick said...


Dr Mohammad Wafeek Eid, a psychiatrist [...]said most spinsters suffer [...]abdominal gases [...]"

There you go. That's the difference between bachelors and spinsters.
Bachelors go out drinking all night and have fun.

Spinsters fart.

i*maginate said...

*nick hehehe. Well if spinsters fart and bachelors go out all night, I'd like to get married to a bachelor ;)

J-T Sullivan said...

i*maginate: Hey Sweetheart, I'm a bachelor. So get on a plane and fly to JFK & we can party all night at some cooler than cool spots! Hell, I'll even have you try out Nick's Garbage Plate special! You game or what?

rosh said...

i*maginate - I think I have to disagree with you on this one.

I know several young successful men & women (Expats & emi's)- who are quite honestly, the best bunch of souls I have come across in life. I do not sense any sort of the (silly) "symptoms" similar to those listed by the family counsellor or the shrink.

It saddens me, there are professionals and people in power who would use demeaning comments on such fantastic souls.

I know of single women, who are most accomplished in business or science. They are warm, independent, full of life - such amazing people.

Mother Teresa a single woman lived her life for the less fortunate. She exuded her love and dedicated her life to the needy and the poor?

Just look at successful and inspiring Emirati women who prefer to fly solo.

i*maginate said...

j-t, you'd be my first husband then, after nick...! LOL that's so mean!! Garbage plate special?

Listen babe you know I love you (I mean cyber-ically) but I can't be with you just now.

Since when did you read localsexpat's blog anyway? Am I giving this dude free publicity? HAHA!!

*rosh, do you think the people you've met are going to let on to you that they're lonely and miserable, i.e. suffering from symptoms of depression, however normal they look on the outside? I can assure you most women wouldn't want to be single if they had a choice!

Rosh, Mother Teresa was a nun!

On another point, in this day and age, even priests are having fun!

It's not only this article that has shed light on the fact that spinsters do suffer from these kind of symptoms. They say those who don't live a life of isolation live longer, and are less prone to depression...look it up, it's medically true...that's not degrading!

nick said...

Mother Teresa was a blessed soul, but I am pretty sure she farted.

rosh said...

lol nick - are we to assume you don't fart - never - ever? :)

If you do - would that make you a lonely, bitter, suspicious, negativity emitting bachelor in distress? :)

To me the whole stigma is just goddamn ridiculous - period.

Cairogal said...

"I understand it's a proven fact in the health field that unmarried, single people, be they bachelors or spinsters (the terms used for unmarried men/women) do suffer from the symptoms mentioned"

Mmmm..until a year and a half ago, I was a spinster by Emirati definition, and I can happily say, free of the gastro-intestinal afflictions mentioned.

Anonymous said...

>>It's not only this article that has shed light on the fact that spinsters do suffer from these kind of symptoms.<<

Utter rubbish. Research shows that married men live approximately 10 years longer than unmarried men but that married women live approximately 5 years LESS than unmarried ones. So marriage is detrimental to womens health and advantageous to men! No wonder all the noble "advisors" in this stupid article were men!!

Censored!Mind said...

Marriage is important to us ( male or female ) ... Its affects female more since after a certain age they can't have kids..unlike men .... but as i said marriage is important (or a relationship) to anyone given the choice... However, time is changing now and not having a partner in life does not affect as much as it used to since we're pretty much occupied in chasing careers! .... So if you're a "Spinster" ..So be it! be one successful Spinster ...

rosh said...

update Mr LE - pse update, we are dying to hear from you : )

Genuine said...

hey LE, haven't read your blog in a while. Look at this article, found it the other day and thought you all may find it interesting:

The Debauchery of American Womanhood: Bikini vs. Burka

By Henry Makow Ph.D.
September 18, 2002

On my wall, I have a picture of a Muslim woman shrouded in a burka.

Beside it is a picture of an American beauty contestant, wearing nothing but a bikini.

One woman is totally hidden from the public; the other is totally exposed. These two extremes say a great deal about the clash of so-called "civilizations."

The role of woman is at the heart of any culture. Apart from stealing Arab oil, the impending war in the Middle East is about stripping Arabs of their religion and culture, exchanging the burka for a bikini.

I am not an expert on the condition of Muslim women and I love feminine beauty too much to advocate the burka here. But I am defending some of the values that the burka represents for me.

For me, the burka represents a woman's consecration to her husband and family. Only they see her.

It affirms the privacy, exclusivity and importance of the domestic sphere.

The Muslim woman's focus is her home, the "nest" where her children are born and reared. She is the "home" maker, the taproot that sustains the spiritual life of the family, nurturing and training her children, providing refuge and support to her husband.

In contrast, the bikinied American beauty queen struts practically naked in front of millions on TV. A feminist, she belongs to herself. In practice, paradoxically, she is public property. She belongs to no one and everyone. She shops her body to the highest bidder. She is auctioning herself all of the time.

In America, the cultural measure of a woman's value is her sex appeal. (As this asset depreciates quickly, she is neurotically obsessed with appearance and plagued by weight problems.)

As an adolescent, her role model is Britney Spears, a singer whose act approximates a strip tease. From Britney, she learns that she will be loved only if she gives sex. Thus, she learns to "hook up" rather than to demand patient courtship and true love. As a result, dozens of males know her before her husband does. She loses her innocence, which is a part of her charm. She becomes hardened and calculating. Unable to love, she is unfit to receive her husband's seed.

The feminine personality is founded on the emotional relationship between mother and baby. It is based on nurturing and self-sacrifice. Masculine nature is founded on the relationship between hunter and prey. It is based on aggression and reason.

Feminism teaches woman that feminine nature has resulted in "oppression" and that she should convert to male behavior instead. The result: a confused and aggressive woman with a large chip on her shoulder, unfit to become a wife or mother.

This, of course, is the goal of the social engineers at the NWO: undermine sexual identity and destroy the family, create social and personal dysfunction, and reduce population. In the "brave new world," women are not supposed to be "nest" makers, or progenitors of the race. They are meant to be neutered autonomous creatures that indulge in sex for physical pleasure, not for love or procreation.

At his press conference on Sunday, Donald Rumsfeld said that Iranian women and youth were restive under the rule of the Mullahs. He implied that the US would soon liberate them. To Britney Spears? To low-rise "see-my-thong" pants? To the mutual masturbation that passes for sexuality in America?

Parenthood is the pinnacle of human development. It is the stage when we finally graduate from self-indulgence and become God's surrogates: creating and nurturing new life. The New World Order does not want us to reach this level of maturity. Pornography is the substitute for marriage. We are to remain stunted: single, sex-starved and self-obsessed.

We are not meant to have a permanent "private" life. We are to remain lonely and isolated, dependent on consumer products for our identity, in a state of perpetual courtship.

This is especially destructive for woman. Her sexual attraction is a function of her fertility. As fertility declines, so does her sex appeal. If a woman devotes her prime years to becoming "independent," she is not likely to find a permanent mate.

Her long-term personal fulfillment and happiness lies in making marriage and family her first priority.

Feminism is another cruel New World Order hoax that has debauched American women and despoiled Western civilization. It has ruined millions of lives and represents a lethal threat to Islam.

I am not advocating the burka but rather some of the values that it represents, specifically a woman's consecration to her future husband and family, and the modesty and dignity this entails.

The burka and the bikini represent two extremes. The answer lies somewhere in the middle.

Henry Makow is the author of A Long Way to go for a Date. He received his Ph.D. in English Literature from the University of Toronto. He welcomes your feedback and ideas at


localexpat said...


Interesting post but i personally don't agree with this Doomsday explanation provided. I think the author is over reacting a little bit especially when they say:-

"Feminism is another cruel New World Order hoax that has debauched American women and despoiled Western civilization. It has ruined millions of lives"

I am a feminist at heart and agree that just like any other ideology/movement it has it difficulties. But the picture depicted by Henry Makow is a gross misrepresentation of the contribution of feminism to the livelihood of women and the development of western world

M. Majora said...

Lol "Spinster", such a silly word. I don't take offense to it. ;D